“Reflections” is from “A Poetic Anthology” Peter Victor (2021)

THE POET

The Poet was a piece of shit

A rusted piece of shit bulk carrier

It was also supposed to be my second job

My second job as a US Merchant Mariner

The time was 1980

The place was Houston, Texas

I was a wet behind the ears

Would be renegade 

Who had just driven a friend’s girlfriend from New York to Boulder, Colorado 

Where she was going to school

I then backtracked to Houston in hopes of getting out on the high seas

I succeeded on the first day

The SS Poet as messman

That is what the job was called then

Kind of self explanatory 

It is now called Stewart Utility

I was to catch her in Galveston 

A friend I had been chumming with in the union hall was also going to Galveston 

He suggested we check our bags at the bus station and grab lunch and a beer

So we did

An hour or so later I am on the bus

My chum was long gone

I still remember some of the people

A Spanish looking girl with a baby

A mariner looking dude who wasn’t a mariner

And other fringe players including me

We arrived in Galveston and stepped out of the bus into heat and sunlight

The opened the side and started pulling bags out of the bowels of the bus

People silently picked up their bag and disappeared

Soon the bus was empty and I was alone with baggage stubs in hand

“Where is my bag?”

“Relax son, we will get it here next bus.”

Buses came and went every hour

None had my bag

I waited in the beer joint attached the the bus station 

And drank a beer every half hour

Finally hours later in the dark of night my bag arrived

I poured myself into a cab and went down to the ship

Something happened that in fifteen years shipping I never saw or ever heard about happening

The union hall had shipped two people to the same job

Because of my delay the other dude had arrived first and had already signed on

The Captain with his arms wide said, “I am sorry son you have to go.”

I should have cared but didn’t 

I threw my sea bag on my shoulder and started down the gangway

Did I mention I was pretty much broke

No plastic in those days

I had reached the bottom of he gangway

“Hey!”

I turned

Someone was yelling at me from the top of the gangway

Back up I went

“You don’t want to be walking around down there in the dark with a bag on your shoulders. My watch partner lives here and has gone home. We can pull the sheets of his bed and you can sleep there and leave in the light of morning. We enjoyed a cognac with a few quiet words and went to sleep.

The next morning I ate breakfast with the crew and left.

That very day I got another job

I was soon out on the Caribbean on a small tanker

Eating breakfast at sea some weeks later the Captain came in and posted a notice

“SS Poet RIP”

I turned to the guy next to me and said, “What does RIP mean?”

The Poet vanished with all hands

To this day it remains an unsolved maritime mystery

There wasn’t a distress call

They conducted one of the largest air and sea searches ever

And didn’t find anything

All the things that would float, self releasing life rafts, life preservers 

Nothing was ever found

The Poet and entire crew simply disappeared

Forever

I know I was prevented from getting on that doomed ship

Much goes on in this world that we are destined never really to be able to get our arms around

Do not try to talk to me about coincidences

Faith, belief, spirit these words are part of my life, but I am not going to discuss them

Someday I will know why I was spared

In the meantime I think of my two sons, my life and the living water that has flowed under the bridge

Yeah... the SS Poet

The Poet

That’s me.

Also from “A Poetic Anthology.”

_____________________

HAIZEA

I first met Haizea in the autumn of '79

I met her in a small dark shithole called Tradewinds Cafe

Even in the dark

Even in the desperate destitute times that led us to that specific location

At that given specific time

I recognized her beauty

Looking back now I realize

The purposeful preordained meaning of our meeting

Our eyes met and we recognized each other

Immediately

The meeting I mention 

Keeps expanding with each passing year

Now

I cannot see the end of it

Or her

Even though she is gone

To say we were lovers does not quite cover it

To say we were friends does not quite cover it

To say we were siblings does not quite cover it

We just were

For many years we would ship together

Vacation together

Talk and think together

Then we began to drift apart

It was a piece of shit heavy-lift tramp freighter

We were riding her together in separate rooms

One dark rough overcast night

I woke and sat up quickly

I heard her calling

Quickly and silently I followed her call

Down dim passageways

Out onto the pitch black deck

Back to the fantail

There she was!

Outside the rail on the stern

Above the prop

Leaning back hair flying in the wind

She brought her head forward and our eyes locked

She released the rail with one hand

Brought it to her mouth blowing me a kiss

Then grabbed the rail again 

Quickly bent down

Then pushed off

Hurling herself backward into the churning sea

And just  like that

She was gone

I don't know how long I stood there

Finally I turned and retraced my steps  back to my room

I rose at 0400 to stand my watch

And the funny thing

Or not so funny

Not a word was ever spoken

Not that morning

Not that day

Not when we finally reached port

It's as  if she never existed

Now,

I cannot see the end of her

Now,

Haizea

Just is.

(2024)

THE FALL II

We are witnessing what a few short years ago would have been unthinkable. The collapse of the United States democracy.

I am certain there are many causes - many of which I am blind to - and I am not going to try to reach beyond my sphere of observation - I am simply going to try to somewhat coherently articulate what I have seen

.

Who am I? Who is this witness? Nobody important. Simply an American boy who has been kicking around the beaches, roads, woods and fields for close to seventy-years.

So what happened?

Well, the first thing that comes to mind is the collapse of the middle class. For years the middle class was the strength and soul of this country. It was who we were. Think “Happy Days” if you are old enough to remember this show. Why did the middle class collapse? Again, I am certain there are many causes I am blind to, but a significant contributing factor was our transition from a producing nation to a consuming nation. We stopped making stuff, the factories closed, and everything was shipped to us from China in a tidy little box.

Of course these things we were purchasing were not produced under humane conditions - the words “slave labor” come to mind; but this was out of our line of sight, and we didn’t have to think about it. And, we didn’t.

The middle class shrunk to the point of almost nonexistence, and the lower class and upper class grew, and grew, and grew. Enter the haves and the have nots.

It was about this time we stopped liking each other.

The country became, and to this day very much is completely polarized. We not only don’t like each other, we hate each other.

And, our government, yes our government: this is where it had to happen, right? They also began hating each other. They forgot they were on the same team. They stopped working together. And set out to destroy each other. And, in the process they destroyed us.

So specifically what happened?

Well, one thing that immediately comes to mind is Mitch blocking a Supreme Court pick through the use of an obscure ancient rule. It was dirty pool… an under-handed low-ball move that tragically shifted the balance of power in Washington.

Since that time the Supreme Court has failed themselves and their country in a series of tragic decisions. I am not going to go through the dirty laundry list, but money in elections, and absolute immunity are two of the big ones. These decisions allow elections to be bought and places the dictator / king above the law.

And, there you have it. That’s where we are today. We still hate each other. The country is more polarized than ever. And, our dictator / king has no intention of going anywhere in three-years. And, even if the country did the unimaginable and became unified I don’t see how we could remove him.

Does this mean I am beyond hope? No. There is always hope. What my hope is is what is lost in the short term is regained, and comes back stronger than ever. “Fixed” if you will. Weaknesses addressed. Integrity restored.

Anyway, that is how I see things, right or wrong, from my perch on a rainy Monday morning.

Have a good day! Have a great week!

(2025)

AWARENESS

Awareness 

In the form of a small colorful bird

Flies above and a little in front of me

As we travel along

The small overgrown 

Winding road 

There are no people 

Only

The sound of the wind

And the wild

Making wind and wild

Noises

Wind winds through events

In both future and past

The mad bellow

Mostly to themselves 

But, alas the truly chosen 

Never make a sound

____________(2025)